A public school teacher was arrested recently at JFK International Airport for possession of ” weapons of math instruction” . The unidentified man was carrying a ruler, compass, slide ruler, protractor and calculator. At a press conference thrown by Attorney General Eric Holder, the AG said he believed the man was a member of the notorious Al-Gebra. Holder went on to say, “Al-Gebra is a problem for us”. The FBI dragged the teacher into custody. Holder went on to say, “They derive solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.” Evidently they use secret code names like X and Y and refer to themselves as “unknowns” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country”.
— With a Thanx & a Tip o’ the Hat to Danny Weil, attorney and independent journalist