Our CEOs, Who Art in Office Towers, Hallowed Be Thy Bank Accounts

Blessed be the gods of the Free Market for they give us vicars on Earth  whom we can venerate in their stead. One such living icon is David Simons hallowed be his name. Simons is CEO of Simon Properties which owns and operates many of the nation’s shopping malls, holy shrines in their own right.

David Simon, unlike you and I sinners, performs so well on behalf of the gods of the Free Market that he is rewarded with a salary of $ 137,ooo,000 a year or $ 68,500 an hour. He is worth so much more than you and I who have not devoted ourselves in service of the market deities.

Like the other blessed CEOs who make in one year what we would make in 244 years, Simon is among the Elect chosen by the Market as holier than we.

So, fellow sinners, we should strive to be like Dave.

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