Category Archives: Humor

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Don’t Tell the Cops!

StealingPensions

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Choose Wisely

Cattle

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Don’t Hate Me for Being Beautiful

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Wishin’ and Hopein’

BILL O’REILLY wants Michelle Obama to tell teen girls to stop having sex.

Biologically, and historically, this appears to a quixotic crusade. If it were practicable, I’d urge that we engage in time travel back to December 1948 to warn off Bill’s Mom to avoid sex within the Christmas holiday break. It resulted in a birth on September 10, 1949, that was as morally reprehensible as teen sex.

And Now for the Other Side

In our continuing effort to provide objective, values-free, unbiased and nonpartisan journalism we are publishing this brief for Geocentricity. As cogs in the vast media complex it is not our role to think for our readers but to offer a fair and balanced perspective.

BRIEF for GEOCENTRICITY

F. A. Seetius, B.S. in Bible Science

There has been a lot of nonsense in the Liberal Media promulgated by the Academic-Intellectual conspiracy about the Earth supposedly revolving around the Sun. Now its time for readers to learn the Truth.

First, you probably don’t really need to learn the Truth if you have a ounce of Common Sense, you can plainly see that the Sun rises and sets in its revolution around the Earth. We don’t need any would-be intellectual telling us what we should be seeing, it’s simple, and we know what we know.

Second, real Science doesn’t really insist on what is laughingly called the “Heliocentric Theory”. I am a Scientist, having earned my science degree in Bible Science from an accredited Bible College, and I don’t believe in the Heliocentric Theory so the idea that all of Science thinks so is just balderdash! There were a lot of people in my Bible Science program, and we ALL believe in Science as God taught it.

Third, Geocentrists have the proof on our side. The ultimate textbook on all Science, indeed on all knowledge can be found in THE Book, the Holy Bible. I submit:

  • “when the Sun was going down” Gen. 15:12
  • “The Sun was risen upon the earth” Gen. 19:23
  • “And when the Sun is down” Lev.22:7
  • “when the Sun goeth down” Deut. 11:30
  • “The Sun also riseth” Eccl. 1:5

I could go on but you get the point. The Bible would not have described the Sun rising or setting if indeed it was the Earth that rose and set. Not only does Common Sense tell us so but the Bible does. It’s in the Book!

I anticipate some wondering, “why Brother F. A, if this is true why are so many Scientists saying that the Sun is the center of the Solar System and that the Earth revolves around the Sun?” . It is perplexing but I believe it is best understood as both the work of the Devil who clouds their minds and Mammon, the devil’s servant, who pollutes their pocketbooks. Scientists have a monetary interest in getting grants and to please their monied masters they need to conform to Establishment thinking. While we “Bible scientists” stand with the Lord and are not so corrupted by the ways of this world.

It is also telling to recognize that conventional Scientists give us a hint about what they really regard as True. No Scientist has ever stated that Heliocentricity is incontrovertible Truth. They always hedge to say that it is a “Theory”. If they truly believed in what they taught, they’d have the courage to say so. They wouldn’t fudge by declaring their belief a theory. I proclaim no theory, no man-based speculation, but God’s own Truth as written in the Book at the beginning of time.

In closing, let me thank the publishers for being willing to provide both sides of the story. If only the Liberal Media would be so honest and objective to allow both sides an opportunity to speak, we’d be better off. This is all we ask, the chance to tell our side and let the people decide.

In the future I hope to be able to share the Good News about Evolution and Climate Change too.

One thing can be said for the NSA is that it may be the only government bureaucracy who will really listen to you

Paraphrasing fellow wordpress blogger, Steve Edwards, a.k.a. “Snoopman”

Scarlett Johansson, Saving the World

Apparently the foregoing commercial was prepared for airing during the SuperBowl but was censored. It wasn’t bounced because of Scarlett’s sexualization of soda but because she dare chide “Coke” and “Pepsi” by name. We thought you’d like to know.